


don't do sadness

by hariboo



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-04
Updated: 2010-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-07 00:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hariboo/pseuds/hariboo





	don't do sadness

Every big change starts with one small one. That's just how it is. Thing is, nobody usually sees it coming.

—

Finn is out with a cold but they need to rehearse - Rachel practically demands it - and after ten minutes of going round and round and round with Mr. Schue, he capitulates. Rachel feels proud until Mr. Schue makes Puck step in for Finn. This is not how she thought it would go — she _lightly suggests_ Artie, who has a very strong voice; she could even handle Kurt, just any body besides Noah Puckerman — but ultimately decision rests with Mr. Schue. Relenting, just this once, Rachel sighs and tells herself that she can just make up the time with Finn later.

It will be fine, she assures herself.

Puck, for his part, looks as happy about this as she is, but she had promised herself that she'd be a team player this time around and walks right up to him.

"Look, I know you don't want to do this, but hopefully it will only be this one time, and we really do need to nail this number for Sectionals. Don't worry about hitting the high notes right away, especially the high B, it took Finn weeks to get it right, and that was only under my tutelage."

Puck rolls his eyes. "I'll be fine. Let's get this over with."

Rachel cannot agree more.

In the middle of his first verse something happens. Her ears perk up. He's actually pretty decent; even less sharp than Finn was his first time singing, and his voice is a smooth basso that blends well with her own. It's a different quality than Finn's, lower, a bit rougher, and while she can't imagine power ballads coming from him, there are more than a few songs that would lend nicely to his voice. Instinctively, she starts a mental list.

After, she goes up to him and bluntly says, "Your voice is better than I expected. For someone who has no training."

He stares at her, a confused and very familiar look covering his features, before giving her another very familiar and rather rude look. "Whatever, Berry, just don't start getting all Fatal Attraction on me like you did with Finn."

Curling her fingers into her palm, she tries not to, as Kurt would say, diva out, "I'm sure I'll be able to restrain myself."

Turning, she walks off without another word.

She might have been wrong about Puck's _voice_, but the guy is still a jerk. It's amazing the things she tolerates for Glee.

—

Everything continues as normal after that. Finn comes back and he's sweet and nice and compliments her even though he shouldn't — Quinn's stomach grows rounder every day, Rachel can't help but notice — and Glee is still the only time of the day where Rachel doesn't feel like a freak.

Thing is, little things begin to change too. Almost unnoticeable, but there. She still posts her myspace videos, but not quite so daily anymore, as Glee helps condition her vocal chords anyway; instead she does one at least once a week and there are almost no mean comments on them. Rachel doesn't notice it right away, but after three weeks of checking her account, her chest doesn't tighten with barely suppressed tears anymore.

Quinn and the other Cheerios just don't comment anymore. Sometimes Mercedes will, telling her to start singing something besides show tunes with comments full of winks and smiley faces; Kurt will give her mini-reviews, complete with gold stars and fashion commentary; Tina will comment with a compliment and then ask about the math homework; Artie sends her recorded guitar riffs he plays during her videos, and even post a couple of requests, but there are no more "RuPaul" or "die, man hands…" messages clogging up her inbox. And while it's not like she misses the messages — she most certainly does _not_ — she wonders why they stopped. She supposes that Quinn might be feeling somewhat hypocritical about writing them now.

Either way it's definitely one of the nicer results of having Quinn in Glee.

—

The slushies don't happen anymore either. She still brings her pink roller suitcase, complete with two changes of clothes every day, but she hasn't had to use it in weeks.

One day she sees Puck walking down the hall, holding what looks to be a blueberry slushie in his hands — she hates the blueberry, those stains never wash out as quickly as the strawberry — and pushes her shoulder back, closes her eyes, waiting for the cold, wet feeling to drip down her shirt. It's new too, the shirt, with adorable little ruffles capping the sleeves. It's a shame it's going to get ruined.

The feeling never comes.

Puck passes her buy, taking a sip of the drink. Rachel doesn't relax; it wouldn't be the first time the attack comes from behind, waiting for her to turn. She waits, and waits, but nothing happens. Cautiously looking back, she watches as he bangs his locker open.

Her shoulders finally drop.

If Puck noticed her actions, he doesn't bring attention to himself. Or her. She doesn't think he notices.

(He did.)

—

Mr. Schue thinks that they need to expand their repertoire to give them an edge over other teams. Rachel did the research and found out a lot of show choirs pick popular pop songs, show tunes, power ballads, and that's all well and fine, but it never hurts to think outside the box.

When she suggests "Carry on My Wayward Son" everyone gives her a look. It's so not her type of song. The looks only grow more confused when she suggests that Puck sing lead on it.

Several loud, disbelieving remarks follow that.

With an exasperated breath, she merely points out that the tone of song fits his voice better than it does Finn's. After the first minute of her explanation everyone just waves her off and Mr. Schue nods in agreement. She can feel Finn's eyes still on her, but she ignores them. She's not his girlfriend — his girlfriend is _pregnant_ and she most definitely is not— and she's not going to coddle him anymore.

Puck steps up, like he doesn't even care, and takes the sheet music she's provided off the piano. As he starts the singing, he glances back at her. She ignores that look too.

People need to relax. She can think of someone beside herself (and Finn Hudson).

So what if his voice is perfect for it and its timbre sits low in her spine as he sings.

It's not like she's the type of girl to make the same mistake twice. She's not stupid, and she has noticed the looks he gives Quinn when he thinks nobody is looking, but Quinn is usually next to Finn, and it's not like Rachel can't not notice that.

—

As she packs up Puck makes his way up to her. It's really a reflex after years of slushies that makes her stomach tighten.

"Yeah, well, thanks, Berry. For the song, it was good choice."

She stretches a grin on her face, "You're welcome."

He walks away and from the corner of her eye she sees Kurt and Mercedes give twin looks. She rushes out of the room before they can corner her with the question she reads in their eyes.

—

Friday she sees Quinn's screen name on her myspace page and tenses. It was too good to be true, she thinks, all of it an elaborate ploy to let her think they reaches a truce, but. Nobody ever got a Grammy by being a coward, so she clicks on it.

_I really like the song._

Rachel blinks. It's entirely the opposite of what she expected, but…

_Thank you. _

She'll take it.

A fan is a fan, right?

—

Shaking her hairspray in the girl's locker room, Rachel hums — "Memories", Streisand — out of habit when she hears someone gag.

"God, please, could you stop that?"

Frowning, she turns towards the stalls and tentatively pushing the door from where she heard the voice. It opens easily, unlocked.

"Quinn?"

The other girl is kneeling by the toilet seat, looking a little green, and glaring at Rachel with her stormy green eyes. For a brief second Rachel's honestly confused over Quinn's words when her eyes drop to the hairspray in her hand.

"Oh!" she exclaims, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry! Is it the smell?"

Quinn leans back against the stall, rolling her eyes, "No, it's the company."

The comment stings more than it was meant to, but neither of them say anything. Both girls know that it's probably truer than either of them would like to admit. Lips pressed together, Quinn looks away, "I'm sorr—"

"No, don't worry about it, I should stop using hairspray anyway. It's not very environmentally conscious of me and one must always be aware of the carbon footprint they are leaving," moving away from the stall door, Rachel tosses the can away, wondering if maybe she should have tried to recycle it. Too late.

Turning back to Quinn, she sees that the other girl has stood up, flushed, and is rinsing her mouth. Rachel kinda wants to leave, but just isn't able to despite the increasing awkwardness. Quinn just looks so exhausted and pallid.

"Are you ok—" cutting herself off, Rachel forgoes asking the stupid question, looking away from Quinn's reflection. She closes her eyes with a deep breath. Time to regroup. "I have some Gatorade, if you want some."

Quinn, who has been staring at Rachel through the mirror, nods only once, "Yeah, thanks."

Rachel dives into her extra gym bag, grabs the orange drink, and hands it over. "The electrolytes should help."

Quinn turns and takes the bottle, sipping it slowly, eyes still on Rachel.

God, this is so awkward, Rachel thinks, as the silence stretches. Unfortunately everything she thinks of saying sounds so ridiculous in her mind, so she only shuffles her feet, trying to hum.

"So, do you like Puck now or something?"

Feeling her eyes grow wide, Rachel is almost positive that she just imagined the words that left Quinn's mouth. "Wh-what?"

"The other day, at Glee, with the song," Rachel can practically hear the _duh_ in Quinn's tone, but chooses not to focus on it. She shakes her head instead.

"He was the right voice for it." And while that's completely true, as Puck did have the right voice for the song, the words feels heavy on her tongue as if she is lying. A lie that Quinn can see through.

"Really?" Quinn isn't even trying to hide the fact she clearly doesn't believe her.

Rachel stands her ground.

"Yes."

"Hmm," Quinn takes another slow drink of Rachel's Gatorade, her eyes avoiding Rachel's. "You know he's complete player, right? You have no chance with him."

Rachel hears what she thinks is sadness in Quinn's voice, but convinces herself she's imagining it; after all why in the world would Quinn sound sad over Puck? If anything, Rachel thought, Quinn would have loved that she isn't pining after Finn anymore, which Rachel isn't. Much. On the good days. And not to mention, she _absolutely_ does not have feelings, save irritation, towards Noah Puckerman.

"I don't like Puck, Quinn. It was just a song." These words, too, feel heavy as they leave her mouth, but they're true. They are.

Quinn says nothing and takes one last drink, handing the half full bottle back to Rachel. Their fingers bump together and Rachel steps back as if burned. She's never touched Quinn before and feels almost like it shouldn't be happening. Quinn gives her a look but stays quiet and leaves the locker room. Her ponytail squishes behind her and as soon at the door clicks behind her Rachel is left alone in the locker room; the last few minutes feel as if they didn't happen at all.

It was just a song.

Rachel sighs.

—

Life is easier when done in song — it's one of Rachel's theories — which is why she decides to skip the library and goes with Mercedes during their free period to the choir room. They've been thinking about suggesting a duet between them to Mr. Schue but they still need to find the right song.

Rachel suggested "For Good" from Wicked, but Mercedes vetoed any form of Broadway songs, telling Rachel they need to think outside the box. Rachel was reluctant to agree, but Mercedes did have a point. Sectionals would expect a Broadway duo between two girls with their vocal range.

Mercedes suggested "When You Believe" from The Prince of Egypt, but Rachel thought it might be too much of a slow song for them to perform. And even going through the lists of duets that Rachel found, most of them didn't appeal to either of them.

Either way, Mercedes also had a new nail polish she persuaded Rachel to test out for her. It was weird, having friends that wanted to spend time with you, but Rachel was slowly getting used to it. Giggling their way through "Sistas are Doing it For Themselves" they make their way into the choir room.

Inside they both stop. The room isn't empty.

Puck is sitting by the piano, clearly skipping class because Rachel knows he has Biology with Kurt and Tina now, lazily playing his guitar. The fact that Puck could play the guitar had come as a shock to most of the members in Glee, but between him, Artie, and Finn on the drums it really made practices (and secret jam sessions) more enjoyable. Arranged better too.

"Hey, Puck," Mercedes says, friendly and casual, in a way Rachel is envious of. Even at her most relaxed she could never sound as easygoing and open as Mercedes does.

"What are you playing?" she asks, not even a little nervous, the way Rachel seems to get around Puck and Quinn. Then again, Mercedes has never had a slushie baptism.

He grunts a hello, but answers, "Nothing, just some random tunes."

Mercedes smiles, "Cool, cool, so you wouldn't mind playing some backup for me and Rachel, would you?"

He gives them both a look, "Why?"

Rachel steps forward, flipping her hair over her shoulder, "We're thinking of doing a duet."

"What song?" Puck gives them an exasperated look.

"When You Believe."

"For Good, from Wicked."

He raises an eyebrow.

Rachel sighs, "Okay, we're not sure yet."

"_But_, whatever it is we're totally gonna rock it." Mercedes grins, bumping Rachel's hip, "Right, girl?"

Shaking her head, Rachel smiles, feeling her cheeks burn, "Yeah."

For a second she's sure he's going to stand up and leave them to it, instead, he smirks, "Sure, I'll help."

Mercedes winks, hands over the extra stack of music Rachel printed out, and starts belting out "Let Me Blow Your Mind", which they already agreed they wouldn't do, but Rachel decides that instead of cutting off Mercedes off the song would be a good warm up.

By the end of the period, she's laughing and a little tried from jumping around with Mercedes, and also completely ignoring the weight of Noah's stare.

They don't figure out what song to choose for the duet, and technically they wasted a whole hour singing random songs, but for once Rachel doesn't mind. She had fun!

—

Maybe she is the type of girl that makes the same mistake twice. Thing is, she doesn't _want_ to be.

—

Everything has been going too well. So it makes sense that it all goes to hell the day she's wearing her favorite sundress. The drink is cold and stings her eyes. It has to be the drink, because it's not tears. She won't let it be tears. As she blinks her eyes open, she notices two things. The first thing is that the drink thrower was _not_ Puck. It was another football player, Jimmy Preston, the one with a mean smile, who asked her out the other day and she politely declined. The second thing is that Puck and Finn are currently slamming him into the lockers.

Whatever they're saying is clearly not very nice if the look of fear in the guy's eyes is anything to go by.

But it's not the only thing that's happening around her.

Kurt, who had been just behind her, is busy reaching into his bag for tissues — "Oh, sweetie, don't worry about that sundress. My dry cleaners can work wonders" — and gently dabbing her face. Tina and Artie are rushing over to her, the former offering her baggy sweater, the latter going over to where Finn and Noah have dropped Jimmy and proceeding to roll over his foot. Jimmy yelps. From the other end of the hall she catches Quinn's eyes and notices how she presses her binder closer to her stomach, protectively.

It snaps her out of it.

Blinking, she shakes off her friends and thanks Noah and Finn when they come over and ask her if she's okay. Rachel breathes, because of course she is, she's Rachel Berry, nothing can affect her— nothing, not their jokes, their taunts, their slushies — she's tough, she's talented and she's not going to cry over _high school_.

"Rach," Finn reaches out to her, worried—_pitying_.

Rachel pushes his hand away. "I'm fine, just need to change." Turning towards her locker, she's glad she never let her guard down enough to stop bring a change of clothes to school. Spinning the combination with ease, she can feel Kurt, Artie and Tina still behind her. Finn had stepped away after she pushed him away and she doesn't know, or care, where Puck is.

She just needs to change.

Her locker pops open and she grabs her bag with her change of clothes. Everyone is standing behind her not saying anything; expect everything they're not saying she can feel. She hates it. She heads to the girl's locker room without another word to anybody, knowing their eyes are all on her.

In the locker room she feels more than sees somebody following her.

"Kurt told me to make sure you didn't throw the dress way."

"Look, Quinn, thanks, but no thanks." She pulls the wet dress over her head and wrinkles her nose at the sticky feeling that the drink has left behind on her skin. Pulling out a towel, she moves to the showers, but is stopped by to soft hand.

"Rachel."

"What, Quinn!" She spins to face the other girl and knows that one or two tears have escaped her eyes.

Quinn looks shocked and a little guilty but doesn't back away. "Stop being such a fucking martyr. You were the one that told me to not push everyone in Glee away because you rejects were all I had left, so why are you pushing us away?"

"It's different!"

 "Why?"

"Because we never hurt you!"

Quinn stops short at that. For a second Rachel thinks that Quinn is going to leave, but she surprises Rachel by pulling her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel."

The tears that weren't burning in her eyes now are spilling down her cheek and she pulls away, wiping the moisture away. "I just want to shower and change, Quinn. I'm fine."

Both know she's not, but they make no mention of it. Quinn nods and Rachel turns back to the showers.

"Don't worry about Jimmy. I've got it handle."

Rachel looks over her shoulder, "Why do you even care?"

"It's what it means to be on the same team, Rachel, didn't you know?" Quinn's voice feels like a warning, but for the first time Rachel knows the warning is not for her, but _because_ of her.

—

A rumor starts up that Jimmy Preston stuffs his jockstrap. All the Cheerios stop paying him any attention.

And that's not all. Practically overnight the whispers stop and the pornographic drawings disappear from the walls of the bathroom stalls.

Quinn winks at her in the hallway on day. Rachel is completely taken aback.

Apparently, when Quinn Fabray decides to make you part of her inner circle, or as Artie described it, puts you under her umbrella of protection, nobody messes with you.

And it's not just Rachel, the rest of the Glee members get the same treatment too. Nobody mocks Tina's stutter anymore, or make comments about Kurt outfits or crushes on a certain quarterback.

Nobody gets slushies in the face anymore.

—

Three days later she's at her locker when Noah steps up to her. "If any of the other football player tries something like that idiot Preston did just tell me."

"Puck, while the gesture is appreciated, I'm more than capable of taking care of myself," she straightens her headband, and with a twist of her wrist flips her locker shut.

He is giving her a look like he doesn't believe her.

"I heard about him 'asking you out'," he says, complete with finger quotes. "And how you turned him down."

Rachel bristles. So maybe 'politely declined' might have been a stretch, and while part of her want to trust Puck (he is a member of Glee after all) but despite his voice, clear eyes, and smirk, Puck is still not someone she feels completely comfortable with.

"I said, I can handle myself. My fathers have insisted that I join them in their self-defense classes since I was ten. I also take kickboxing. A Neanderthal like Jimmy Preston doesn't scare me."

He laughs, "I don't doubt it, Berry, but you're still a midget and he's tackles guys three times your size every week."

Rachel narrows her eyes, "I don't appreciate the implication that just because of my diminutive size I'm considered to be frail. In fact, I believe my stature works to my advantage, as most people assume that just because I'm of small build I'm a push over. Just like you're doing now."

"Trust me, Berry, I know you're not a push over, but seriously, you're tiny. Hell, I could pick you up with one hand if I wanted too," he leans against the lockers, a gleam in his eyes. She does not linger on the image he has purposely alluded to, except to admit, if only to herself, that he is right, he probably _could_ pick her with one hand.

"And if you did, I'd sue your ass."

 "You'd try," he rolls his eyes and Rachel huffs. Puck sighs, "Look, whatever, you may be a secret ninja when you're go home, whatever, but I don't care, even if you do manage to kill to Preston with your tiny ninja hands, you better tell me, so I can at least help bury the body."

"Why?"

"Because, Berry," he trails off, looking around the hall, as other students passed them by. An annoyed look crosses on his face when realizes people maybe be watching and turns back to her, looking straight into her eyes, "_Because_."

Rachel gasps. "Puck, were you worried?"

"What? No!" he glares and Rachel grins.

Boys are so transparent sometimes.

"Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"I'll let you know if any other football player tries anything, even if I've already handled it myself," she agrees, after all male egos are so fragile. Then on an impulse she doesn't examine too closely, she raises herself on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek. "It was very sweet of you to worry, Noah."

"Whatever, Berry," he mumbles and stalks away.

Rachel giggles and heads to Biology, an extra bounce in her step.

—

During practice she and Finn are still paired up as leads most of the time. Every once in a while Mr. Schue will get the urge to shake things up, his words not hers, and pairs her with Noah, or Artie, sometimes Mercedes and even Quinn. There are mash ups and duets and finally after years in the metaphorical wings, Rachel feels that her talents are getting the attention and development they deserve.

Right before winter break, she even gets the lead in "Don't Stop Believing" back when all the spinning gets to be too much Quinn and makes her throw up after every time they practice it. The first time she barely made it to the bathroom, the second time she reached the trash can in the corner of the choir room, and the third time she and Kurt held Quinn's hair back and glared over their shoulders at Mr. Schue.

Nobody really blamed him when he gave in to her look. They had all had seen it coming for weeks. (Afterwards, stretched out in the back of the room Quinn sighed, "Finally." Like she had planned it all along. Rachel gave a look to which Quinn shrugged, "Journey's so not my thing.")

Then during one practice Finn spins her out too fast, used to Quinn's taller and now rounder body, that Rachel stumbles straight into Puck. His hands land at her waist and her nose smashes right into his chest. Sometimes being petite really sucks.

Finn immediately starts to apologize — "oh, god, Rachel, I'm sorry. You okay?" — and Mr. Schue pinches his nose and calls for a ten-minute break. Everyone else giggles, except for Puck, who's hands are still at her waist, steadying her.

He smells like sweat, soap, and just a hint of citrus that is clearly laundry detergent. It's kinda nice. Rachel pushes away from his chest and presses her lips together, embarrassed, because she _did not_ just think that. Stepping back, prepared to turn to Finn and assure him she's okay, she catches Puck's eyes. Green, clear, and are his pupils dilated?

She needs to step away. Right now.

"Thank you, N—Puck," she mumbles.

He shrugs, "Watch where you're going next time."

Finn touches her shoulder, "Are you sure you're okay, Rachel?"

She faces him and grins, "Yes, but we need to work on your spin, Finn. I know it's been a while since we practiced this together, but we need to make sure we get this down perfectly lest we mess up in Regionals. This is one of our most important numbers after all."

Finn nods, smiling, always so sweet.

Behind her Puck goes up to Mike, Matt and Artie and starts discussing something she can't make out. Probably a subject she doesn't even care about. So why she is more focused on a conversation that has nothing to do with her when Finn's standing right in front of her, waiting for her direction?

—

She's in the supermarket with Daddy Saturday morning, helping him with the dinner menu for the week, and singing "Santa Fe" under her breath because they just watched RENT last night when she hears a loud _NOAH_!

If she were more aware of herself in that moment she would have smiled at the perfect movie spin she pulled of. As it is, she's not and watches as a small girl, no older than ten skids to a stop at the end of the aisle, Puck's arm catching her around her waist.

Rachel smiles. It's been a while since she's seen him outside of school — had to be four months ago at Harriet Cohen's bat mitzvah — and tends to forget that he's a big brother. And a rather decent one. He lifts sister, holding her under his arm like you would a duffle bag, but he's chuckling.

He looks up then and almost drops his sister, but doesn't as his arm tightens at her tiny shout, when he sees Rachel. She waves with her fingers, but he doesn't look happy and chuckling anymore and the fact that it's because of _her_ hurts more than a little.

She's sure he's going to ignore her when he nods back.

She smiles.

He smirks.

And then Daddy asks her how she feels about pie for dessert tonight.

Answering, she turns away from Puck. As they move down the aisle she looks back, but he and his sister are already gone.

—

They run into each other again by the check out line.

Lima is a small town and everyone more or less knows each other in one way or another. Also it's not like Rachel's family exactly blends in.

Mrs. Puckerman greets Daddy warmly — they've know each other for years, the Jewish community in Lima is fairly small — and Puck is reasonably polite in front of his mother. Sarah grins up at Rachel with a gap toothed smile and tell her she likes her sweater. It's her pale green one with little yellow flowers. Rachel beams at the compliment, and tells Sarah that she likes the pink and purple one the girl has on, which she does, and Puck snorts, muttering something unpleasant and completely inappropriate considering his sister is right in front of them.

She narrows her eyes over his sister's head and he rolls his eyes. He can pretend all he wants, but not ten minutes ago she witnessed him being an attentive brother. Rachel has an impeccable memory; it's not something she's going to forget any time soon.

Their parents say good-bye and as the family of three walks away Rachel sunnily tells Puck she'll see him in Glee. She also makes a point to call him Noah.

The look his mother gives him clearly says she didn't know anything about Glee and Rachel suppresses her smile. Oops.

Puck glares at her over his shoulder.

Maybe her smile is a little smug at its corners.

—

"That was hilarious, Berry," he says on Monday as he slides into his seat in English, behind her. This once meant spit balls in her hair. Now it just means he taps her on the shoulder when he want to cheat. She does not let him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Noah," she replies, making sure to keep an air of indifference.

"My mom is now asking me about Glee."

"Oh, that," she reaches into her bag to grab a pen, "how was I supposed to know that you hadn't spoken to your mother about Glee? You should be proud of being in the club; you really do have a very nice voice. Even if it's a little rough, but with some practice that's easily fixed."

Puck ignores her. "She wants to come and see me sing now."

"I don't see what's so wrong in that." She really doesn't, she loves performing for her dads.

"My. Mom. Wants. To. See. Me. Sing," he repeats, his green eyes glittering at her.

Rachel rolls her eyes, _and they call her dramatic_. "Well, maybe now you'll take it more seriously, Noah."

"Stop calling me Noah."

"Fine, _Puck_, but I don't see what the big deal is. Many other people have seen you sing, what the difference if your mom does? Don't you think she'll be proud of you?" she wonders, suddenly feeling a little guilty, she didn't want to cause problems between him and him mother.

"Oh, she'll be proud."

"Then I honestly don't get it."

"I'm a Lima Loser, Berry. Just because I can sing doesn't mean shit. It won't change anything."

"Noah, that's silly, being talented is nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm not, and if your talent lets you get out this town then why shouldn't you pursue it? Nobody should be ashamed of wanting to make it out of Lima, who cares how you do it?"

"You do know that's why most people in this school find you annoying as hell?" he points out, unnecessarily, but for once without malice in his tone.

"I am aware, but at least I'm not afraid to want more."

He smirks, almost pleasantly, "You're definitely not, Berry. It's kinda scary sometimes."

She grins before turning her attention to Ms. Delano, "I'm taking that as compliment."

—

After class he touches her elbow, looms over her, and sneers, "Look about what we talked about…"

He doesn't need to say anything else because Rachel remembers the same look on Finn's face after that kiss in the auditorium, the words "don't tell anybody" still float in her corner of her mind.

"Didn't happen," she tries to hide her disappointment, "I'm not stupid, Puck, one semi-emotionally revealing conversation does not equate to us being friends. I get it."

He looks down at her and for a second she swears she sees guilt in his eyes, but he looks away too quickly, "Good."

Going opposite ways, they don't look back at each other, but there's a tug of something that makes them want to.

—

Because he pisses Coach Tanaka off so often and gets kicked off the field he sometimes gets to practice before the other football player and the Cheerios.

She's usually there, setting up, or practicing her vocal exercises. Sometimes she's at the piano, just fiddling around. He comes in one day when she's at the piano, humming to herself, but she doesn't notice him right away.

It's when he sings the opening bar to "Sweet Caroline" that she looks up at him with wide eyes.

"Pu-Puck!" she stands, bumping the back of her knees with the piano bench, and winces. "I didn't see you there…"

"Obviously, Berry," he rolls his eyes and goes to one of the back chairs, sprawling himself over its frame. She bites down a lecture on posture that it trying to bubble out of her throat.

"So, you a Diamond fan?"

Rachel raises an eyebrow, shifting on her feet, before settling down on the bench. "What?"

"You were playing 'Sweet Caroline'; Neil Diamond? You the president of his fan club?"

She glares at his tone. "No, I'm not actually. I just like it. My dads used to singing it to me when I was little."

"They Diamond fans?"

"Kinda, my biological mother was. She used to play it all the time when she was pregnant with me. It's my middle name, actually."

Puck looks uncomfortable at the information. She supposes he wasn't expecting the song to have any actual meaning for her.

"Oh," he pauses, for a long minute, and then, "So want me to play with you?"

"I'm sorry?"

He's already standing, walking over to the guitar in the corner. "Wanna play it?"

She works really hard to hold back the smile that wants to erupt on her face, but she's sure it escapes if the grin he gives her is any indication. He really does have a lovely smile.

"Really?"

"Come on, Berry, start me off," he motions with his hand and Rachel begins singing.

Everyone comes in during the second verse song and give her and Puck looks. Mr. Schue looks strangely proud, and the rest of the looks range from amazed, surprised, impressed, and confused.

Rachel can't even care.

At the end Puck winks at her, and this time she doesn't even try to hold back the grin, so wide it makes her cheeks hurt.

—

The coin then flips. Or, if you were hoping for a musical metaphor: the record skips.

She's standing shocked into stillness as all around her everything falls apart.

Finn just punched Puck and is now shouting ugly things to Noah, being held back by Mike and Matt. Noah is being pushed against the piano by Kurt, Santana and Brittany, which really should tell them all how much he _doesn't_ want to fight, but it doesn't stop him from growling back at Finn. Mr. Schue is standing between the two boys trying to mediate. Everyone else is standing, frozen in their spots, like Rachel is.

Expect for Quinn.

The ex-Cheerio is holding herself, crying big, heartbreaking tears just behind Rachel.

Slowly, the situation clears in Rachel's mind.

Puck is the father of Quinn's baby, not Finn, and Puck may be Finn's best friend but from the look in Finn's eyes he's not really thinking clearly right now. Puck just looks lost and angry and Quinn is breaking apart.

Rachel is not many things — popular, tall, well-liked, lactose intolerant, quiet — but she is many other things, including great in a crisis. Her brain is hot-wired for them, or more specifically for dealing with them.

She forgets the way Finn smiles at her and the way he kissed her; she forgets the slushies; Noah's green eyes, hands, and smirk; Quinn's taunts and threats. She forgets all of those things and focuses on the fact that Quinn's life is falling apart right now, and Finn and Puck's fighting, no matter how justified it is, really isn't going to help.

The second she takes that step forward its like she's been lead by a force greater than herself. Kurt would call it her Diva Spirit, but whatever it is, she lets herself be lead.

Going up to Finn, she presses her palm against his chest and pushes, a little. "Stop it, Finn."

He blinks down at her, "What!"

Rachel swallows, "This isn't helping anyone Finn, you need to stop."

"They've been lying to everyone for _months_, Rachel," he says, sad and heartbroken. Rachel knows how much he loves the baby.

"I think the moment the truth came out it stopped being about any one of us, but about them," she shakes her head and pushes her hand against his chest. "Stop, please."

Something breaks in Finn then and he collapses into himself. Rachel's heart breaks for him, but decidedly turns towards Puck. Her steps falter at little, looking straight into his eyes, but she plants her hands on her waist and raises her eyebrow in defiance, "Are you going to do anything stupid?"

He chuckles, a sad sound, "No."

"Good," that's all she can say to him.

Making her way over to Quinn, who is still shaking and crying, Rachel wraps her arms around the taller girl's body. The second Rachel's arms touch her; Quinn kinda falls into Rachel's tiny body and Rachel barely manages to not collapse against the weight. Quinn's belly is pushing into Rachel's side and her sobs are heavy against Rachel's neck. Carefully she maneuvers Quinn to the steps in the back of the room and strokes her hair.

"It's going to be okay, Quinn. Ssssh. I'll take care of it," Rachel starts humming "Keep Holding On" because they've learned in the six months of Quinn's pregnancy that the baby likes music and it generally calms Quinn down. Over Quinn's shoulder she calls Kurt and Artie over.

Both boys are in front of her a second later and she remembers a passing comment Puck said once about how Mr. Schue might head the Glee, but in the end it was hers and she ran it like Patton. It wasn't a compliment, she remembers that too.

"I need you get them out of here. Take Finn to the auditorium and Puck to the locker room, and don't let them leave. Kurt take Mike. Artie, you take Matt."

Immediately they do as she says, even Matt and Mike, and Finn gives her this look that she can't bother to decipher. Puck doesn't look back at all.

Sighing, she settles Quinn's head on her lap, whose sobs are now only heavy breaths against her skirt, and asks her for her doctor's number.

Surprisingly it's Mr. Schue that comes up with the answer. Rachel thanks him and then tells him she's got this handled. He looks lost for about a second when he realizes he's in a room full of girls, one who is currently pregnant and crying her eyes out, and so with a nod he makes his out of the choir room. Practice is cancelled for the day.

"Mercedes," Rachel starts, but the other girl already has her phone out.

"Got it, Rachel."

Rachel smiles, "If they say they're fully booked tell them it's an emergency and we'll be there in an hour, appointment or no appointment."

Mercedes gives her the thumbs up.

Stopping her strokes of Quinn's hair, Rachel slides out from under her and calls Brittany over to her side. Brittany takes up the position without a word and a second later Santana and Tina are by Quinn's side too, trying to comfort her as best they can.

Rachel can't do that now, because as she straightens her spines and sets her chin, she has the boys to deal with.

—

When she steps into the auditorium she can already see Finn pacing near the bottom of it. Kurt and Mike are looking at him as if he's a caged animal, and she can't really blame them. She's never seen Finn so angry before, the image of his punching Puck still fresh in her mind. It was severely off putting.

"What the hell was that, Rachel?" he asks her, still angry, when he notices she's heading down to him.

"All that yelling wasn't doing anybody any good, Finn. Especially not Quinn," she tries to keep her voice calm. Collected. Lashing or divaing out isn't going to make this any better either.

"I can't believe you're defending her! Them!"

Rachel steps forward and pokes him straight in the chest, hard. "Quinn's pregnant, Finn, the baby might not be yours like you thought, but she's still pregnant and you don't yell a pregnant girl. Got it? Stress is not good for the baby!" She pokes him in the chest again, just to emphasis her point.

"I was yelling at Puck," he points out and Rachel has to concede his point. He was yelling at Puck, but Puck is the baby's father and everything is such an utter mess right now.

"I know."

"He slept with my girlfriend, Rachel. He slept with her and lied to me, and then they lied to everyone. How come you're not angry? You and him—" He drops down onto a chair and every moment he makes is slow, like everything aches.

"Me and Noah are only friends, Finn, if that," she's quick to point out, because it is all they are, every moment between them was just that. Moments. "And I can only imagine how angry you really are. You loved that baby, I know you did, but the baby is still there - that hasn't changed - and you can deny it, but you still care about Quinn." Taking the seat next to him, she covers his arm with her hand, "And you care about Puck, too."

"Not anymore. I want to kill him."

She smiles, patting his arm, "You're not a very good liar, and please don't hurt him - you'll regret it later, not to mention getting expel, ruining all our chances at Nationals - at least not on school grounds."

Finn laughs, and gives her small smile. "You care too much about Glee, Rachel."

_You care too much about us._

It goes unsaid, but Rachel hears it anyway. Standing, she tells him to cool off for a while longer and as she leaves the auditorium, she whispers to Kurt to make sure that when he leaves he doesn't run into Puck.

—

The boys locker room is on the other side of the school - the number one reason she sent Noah, Artie and Matt there - but now that seems like a bad idea because she's thinking too much.

Too much.

With her it always seems to be that, or not enough.

So Noah is the father of Quinn's baby. It explains a lot— the looks, for one, and the way he almost didn't seem to care except he was _always_ there, not even three feet away, whenever Quinn was in a room.

It shouldn't hurt, because it's not like they were _anything_. Barely even friends… and now she's thinking of _Beauty and The Beast_, and she really shouldn't be. Especially in relation to her and Noah, because it just wouldn't happen, this isn't a fairy tale. It's Lima.

Artie and Matt are standing by the door to the locker room, like two sentries, and they both give her the same nervous look.

"He's in the weight room," Artie informs her.

"How come?"

Matt sighs, leaning against the lockers, "My guess? He wanted to punch something."

Rachel looks from Matt to the locker room door, and frowns. "I see."

Pushing the door open, she makes her way through the locker room and towards the weight room. Inside she finds that instead of taking out whatever pent up emotion he has in him on the punching bag in the corner, Puck is sitting on a bench, head in his hands. The second she enters the room, he looks up at her and it hurts.

"You talked to Finn already?" he asks, even though it's clear he knows the answer.

Rachel makes her way to him, "Yes, and while he's understandably angry at the moment I told him that if he really felt the need to confront you and get into an altercation, that he should at least do it away of campus. I don't think he will, though, Finn's too good-hearted to stay so angry for long."

"Thanks, I guess."

God, he sounds so sad. Even sadder than Finn and it's hard to witness.

She wants to hug him, like she did Quinn, but she can't bring herself too. They sit in silence instead, until she breaks it. She's never been good with any kind of silence, especially awkward ones.

"Did you always know?"

He looks over at her and suddenly her mouth feels dry.

Swallowing, she hurries to fill this new silence, "I mean, about the baby. That you were the father, because you didn't seem all that surprised when Finn punched you. In fact, you looked almost relieved. Like you expected it, so I just was wondering—"

He stops her babbling with three words.

"I knew, Rachel."

"Oh, okay."

"That's all you got?"

Rachel shrugs, "I guess so. There's not much more to say, is there? You're the father of Quinn's baby."

His sigh is heavy, so heavy she can feel it in her bones, "Yeah, I am."

"I'm going to need your medical history tomorrow, so I can update Quinn's doctor."

He laughs at that and shakes his head. "You're a piece of work, Berry."

She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and slides her eyes over to him. The bruise on his jaw is already turning colors and the knowledge that it was Finn, Puck's _best friend_, who did that, feels wrong. Carefully, she extends her fingers to his face.

He senses her movement and turns sharply towards her. Her fingers curl back into her palm.

"Sorry," she whispers.

He stares at her and drops his shoulders. "It's fine."

"Does it hurt?" she wonders, because sure looks like it does.

"Like a bitch."

Somehow she understands he's not just talking about his jaw.

Determined, she once more moves her hand towards his face and doesn't flinch as his eyes follows her movements. Her fingertips brush the angry red oval wrapping around his jaw noticing little things like he needs to shave and how warm his skin is. She leans in, even though her chest hurts and she's trying to keep her breathing under control, and kisses his cheek.

"It will get better."

Puck doesn't move, doesn't agree, doesn't do anything until she moves away, heading back to the choir room.

"Rachel?"

"Yes?"

"You're a good friend."

The word falls with a weight from his lips.

She nods, smiling, and slips quickly through the door, because all the tears she been keeping in are finally threatening to spill over.

—

Back in the choir room, everything is quiet again. Quinn's no longer crying. She's still resting her head in Brittany's lap and the other girls are seated in a semicircle around her.

When Rachel comes in they all turn to her, their eyes expectant.

"Don't worry, I've talked to them," she pauses, going over to take Quinn's hand. "It's going to be fine, Quinn. I think they now know better now than to fight in the choir room."

Quinn smiles, "Thank you, Rachel."

"Not a problem," she chirps, and cringes inwardly. "Now, Quinn, I'm sure you want to go home now, but we really should take you to the doctor to make sure everything is fine. Emotions were running high in here today, and it's better to get you checked out."

Everything is simpler when she has a plan, she's realized in her years, keeps everything in order.

Quinn looks like she's about to protest, but then nods. "Yeah, I guess so."

Tina and Santana help her up and together all six girls head to Rachel's car. In the parking lot Rachel notices that Finn's car is gone, but Noah's is still conspicuously there. At her car, she directs Brittany and Santana to follow her, because her car can only fit five comfortably and Quinn's a little rounder than normal.

The drive to the doctor's office goes by fast thanks to Mercedes, who keeps the conversation flowing easily. Inside, Quinn asks Rachel to go in with her as they all ignore the looks they're receiving. (Santana mutters that everybody probably thinks they're all knocked up. Tina turns red and rushes to sit the darkest corner of the room.) Rachel pays attention to everything the doctor tells Quinn, because even though she hasn't said anything, she's already thinking of a switch-off schedule for Quinn's appointments and briefly wonders about Lamaze class.

When the doctor finishes, Rachel makes a point to speak to her, and gets herself and her dads added as Quinn's emergency contacts. She also mentions that tomorrow she'll be dropping off an updated medical history on the father, and should she be aware of anything in regards to Quinn's pregnancy.

Next to Rachel, Quinn is trying not to giggle at the look on the doctor's face as Rachel peppers her with questions, pulling her bag open and pulling out a notebook to write things down.

As they leave, Rachel pays for the appointment without show, filling in the other girls on her plan. They all agree, knowing better than to argue with Rachel at the moment.

Quinn is the last person she drops off, because coincidentally, Quinn actually lives the closest to her. She helps her out of the car, and together they walk up to her front door. Quinn's parents are less than thrilled by the situation their daughter is in so they have to talk outside where Quinn's belly isn't ignored.

"I know you have to hate me a little right now, but thank you," Quinn smiles, tugging her cardigan around her figure.

"I don't hate you, Quinn, I'm not happy with you at the moment. That was a horrible lie that you made Finn, Noah, and your baby part of, and I can't tell you I believe it was the right the decision, because everyone is hurting now. We all care about you, all of Glee, and we're all a little angry at you, because we thought we were your friends and that you trusted us, but we don't hate you. _I_ don't hate you."

"You totally should though," Quinn whispers, wiping off a couple stray tears from her eyes.

At the sight of Quinn's tears, Rachel wraps her up in a hug and this time she's ready for when Quinn hugs her back. Rachel smiles and it feels like her first genuine one in hours, "Glee doesn't work that way."

—

Quinn only lives a few streets away from her, it should take her about five minutes to get home. Fifteen minutes later, after an unplanned a detour, she somehow ends up on Noah Puckerman's doorstep.

She rings the bell before she loses her nerve and waits.

When he appears at the door, he looks surprised to see her; she's never been to his house before.

"Rachel?"

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure," stepping outside, he closes the door behind him. Smart move, considering she's sure he hasn't told his mom about the baby.

She takes a breath, before speaking. Its deep and the night air fills her lungs with something like courage. "I took Quinn to the doctor and don't worry the baby is fine, but I still need your medical history because I told the doctor I was going to bring it by tomorrow, and they really should have all the facts. I also wanted to let you know that since it seems that Finn is no longer going to be accompanying Quinn to the doctor anymore. I'll be taking her, but if you wanted to do it instead, or join us that would be fine, I guess, though you really should speak to Quinn about it." Furrowing her brow, Rachel thinks about Quinn's current home environment, "Maybe not tonight though. I doubt that her parents will let you talk to her tonight, they're not exactly letting her take anyone's calls right now anyway, but you should talk to her now or tomorrow, I guess. It is your baby, after all. You should know what's going on with it. In the car, she told me about what happened when you found out, and how you wanted to help out and I think she really needs it now, because even though I told her I would be there for her — and I will be — I think she might need you too, even if she doesn't admit to herself. And I know you want to be there for her and the baby. You do, right?"

Noah is smiling, like she just told him the greatest joke in the world, and three days ago it would have made her stomach flutter the way his singing does. Maybe it still does. A little.

"Puck! Say something!" she hits his arm lightly, which only makes him smile wider.

She's about to smack him again, harder this time, when his arms wrap around and hold her to him. This is so not how she pictured this going in her mind. Her arms apparently don't care, because they lift and wrap around his waist.

"Noah?" she whispers.

He pulls back and does something that bowls her over— he kisses her forehead. "You're pretty awesome, you know that, Rachel?"

"Wh-what?"

He just smirks at her and settles her against his side, "You heard me. Come on, stay for dinner, you can drive home after."

Rachel blinks, still more than a little confused at the turn of events, "Okay…"

"Or we could go upstairs to my room and make out."

"NOAH!" she smacks her hand against his chest and glares at him as he laughs when she shakes it out. His chest really is rock hard, and she smirks to herself.

"You really can't blame me for trying, I've had a very emotional day and I'm vulnerable; if you wanted to take advantage I couldn't stop you, " he says, opening the door and leading her inside.

Rachel rolls her eyes and snorts, even though it's true, because part of him means it. Part of him wants to escape and she's more than aware that what it would be for him, so she doesn't bother to tell him that for the briefest second she considered it—he so doesn't need the ego boost and neither of them need the drama— because part of her wants to escape too. Rachel stops herself. She promised herself she wouldn't make the same mistake twice, and she's not going to; whatever this thing—camaraderie—friendship she has with Noah is different. She won't let it be a mistake.

—

The agreement he and Quinn come to is he'll pay for the doctor's appointment and she'll let him come along to every one.

But only if Rachel drives, because according Quinn, Puck drives like a geriatric when Quinn's in the car. So, Rachel drives and holds Quinn's hand the whole time in the examining room, while Puck tries to be manly and not sniffle at the ultrasound.

Sometimes, Puck can't make it — away games — but there's always another member of Glee to pick up the slack.

 

fin


End file.
